


We Need to Talk About Ivan

by The_Pudgy_Ravkan



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Gen, Gross Mal, Humor, Ivan angst, One Shot, Penguins, The Darkling cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pudgy_Ravkan/pseuds/The_Pudgy_Ravkan
Summary: After growing quite emotionally attached to Ivan I was very upset after what happen,so after the initial shock wore off I wrote this to make myself feel better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by http://braavoindiaa.tumblr.com/

The silence stretched on.  
Finally Alina made eye contact with the Darkling,  
"Darkling, what is that?" She asked looking back down in the direction of the Darklings feet.  
"It's kinda obvious Alina" Mal stated in an amused tone from his crouching position on the floor.  
"It's a penguin" Mal crooned at the small, fluffy creature in front of him.  
"That's Ivan" the Darkling started with an air of annoyance.  
"What?"Alina asked, amusement coating her voice.  
Mal snickered, the Darkling looked down at Mal and resisted the urge to push the stupid tracker off balance. The Darkling resumed eye contact with Alina.  
"That penguin is Ivan" the Darkling informed them again, the Darkling was starting sound like a tired parent. A tired single parent. "So this is your secret weapon Darkling, a penguin," chuckled Mal. "It probably haunts the minds of children before they go to sleep at night."   
"It's not like I can predict whether someone will turn into a volcra or a...penguin." The Darkling paused, considering,  
"However...Grisha theory states that-" Mal made a fart noise while sticking out his tongue.   
"That's what I think of Grisha theory." A vein twitched in the Darlings hand as he restrained himself from decapitating Mal with the cut. 

Alina had joined Mal in his manly crouching and was gazing at Ivan (or what was left of him) with the upmost amusement.  
"Do you think he's hungry?" She asked, turning to look at Mal, who snorted and turned to look at Ivan.   
"Are you hungry Ivan?" He cooed in a tone that bordered on Ivan's usual mocking sneer.  
Ivan squawked happily at the prospect of food.  
"I'll go see what we can give him" with that Alina skipped gleefully out the door in search of something to feed the penguin.   
"I could track that all day," said Mal as he watched Alina disappear down the hallway. The Darkling's nostrils flared.

 

 

 

"He's defenceless , he can't do anything" Mal laughed as he prodded the baby fat on the penguins stomach,"who knew Ivan was hiding so much fat?" he said pushing Ivan over.  
Alina appeared in the doorway holding up a bag for the two men to see,  
"It's says on Wikipedia that penguins eat herring!" She exclaimed. The Darkling walked over to Alina and took the bag from her and turned to look at Mal who was now walking their way. Mal approached the Darkling and opened the bag (that was still in the Darklings grasp), the Darkling gave Mal a disapproving look as he grabbed a freezing herring out the bag and squeezed the eyes out of the fish with his thumb and popped the eyeballs into his mouth. The Darkling handed the bag back to Alina as they both shot Mal a questioning look as he chewed the fish,  
"I'm a tracker, I know what I'm doing" Mal mumbled as he leaned over Ivan and let the chewed fish dribble out of his mouth and into Ivans beak. Ivan gurgled happily, a bit of herring dribbled onto the carpet.  
"It's the only way baby penguins take their food" Mal barked in repose to the look of disgust that the Darkling gave Mal. The Darkling gently pushed Ivan to his feet. He then turned to Alina and took the bag of herring from her before whacking Mal several times with the fish filled bag. Mals hands shot up in a futile effort to protect himself. Herring flew everywhere. The Darkling plucked Ivan off the floor and held him tightly to his chest.  
"I'll protect you from the vile swines of the world" he mumbled as he stalked away down the hall and into the darkness.

 

 

 


End file.
